Hi, I’m an email and this is my story.
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*01.31 Apologies for the six week break between tweets – in terms of projects, its been non stop My City Lives recently but I do have a story to finish so I’m back.
Part 1, The Electronic Male: A young man is given an important message to deliver and finds that his success leads him to many people, places and a surprising demise.
Chapter 1
We were standing face to face in her living room, separated only by a slim beam from a sinking sun.
Her playground demeanor was confusing. I’d always just figured that my first gig would be more professional.
“Are you sure you don’t want to read it back to me?”
It wasn’t necessary. I had written the message with a level of diligence that would have made mom proud.
“Where are you headed first?”
“I don’t know yet, there’s a lot of ground to cover and not that much time.”
I didn’t know because I was nervous. This was the big show that I had been waiting for and I didn’t have a plan yet.
As I tucked the piece of paper away she grabbed me aggressively but held me intimately. I gave her a pat and pushed away.
“Don’t forget that some of these people are my friends, so please be nice. Oh and be caref…”
Her voice faded as I picked up my pace and turned the corner. I had a job to do.
Chapter 2
“Who are you?”
It was clear from the beginning that delivering the pitch would be the easy part. The hard part was adapting to the person behind the door.
I had read about building rapport but I wasn’t a true salesman. I couldn’t just tailor myself to any audience; it felt right to be real.
I didn’t need a self-help book to tell me that. I was always amazed at how the more we develop, the more we need those books.
This particular man, the first that I decided to find, looked prepared to throw his morning coffee at me if I moved too quickly.
“Sir you don’t know me but we have a mutual friend who’s asked me to speak with you if you wouldn’t mind letting me in”
“Who?”
I tore the folded paper out of my pocket and shoved it in his hands. The speed and sweat that I delivered it with hurt my case.
Thankfully, her name alone won him over for me. Funny how a connection is all the currency you need.
His smile flashed with familiarity. “Come in kid. Can I get you a coffee?” I declined; my jitters didn’t need more juice.
The house, between kids and mess, felt like a domestic zoo. I sat down at the kitchen table, clearly the family’s watering hole.
He sat beside the little girl who afforded me a glance before going back to texting. He motioned to grab his own phone.
I had a blink to make an impression. Technology had satisfied our low attention spans by distracting us.
“Mr. Thuerk, I know you’re busy so I won’t take much of your time. I’ve been asked to come here to deliver a message”
I launched into the pitch with proper passion. A pitch without passion has no hope.
He called over his wife, my legs tingling as I realized that I had succeeded. “If you can just fill this out we’ll be good to go”
“I’ll do you one better. Here’s a list of a number of people that I want you to talk about this on my behalf.”
I was excited. Getting referred so early was a good sign that I was peddling just anything. It was something of value.
I flashed him one more smile and walked down the driveway. I wish I could describe vindication
Chapter 3
With Mr. Thuerk increasing the list of people I needed to speak to threefold, my adventure grew as did my story.
Initially, it wasn’t the places as much as others from my industry that made my story interesting.
The Prince was among that group. Stocky, colorfully decorated and seemingly everywhere, he was a hard man to miss.
Plus, it’s not like deposed millionaires are all that common.
“Jambo Bwana! I am Prince Mebratu Sakasua II, son of King Mebratu Sakasua.”
As he bowed, I wondered why a Prince would be knocking on doors like me, until he told me his tragic story.
The Prince had lost most of his family following a brutal rebel uprising leaving him alone and without access to his financial accounts.
All he needed to access his millions, which he was generously willing to share, was the help of a kind stranger.
For a moment, I thought I could be this kind stranger except without money to process the legal costs, the Prince refused my offer.
I found this as odd as the time that a homeless man asked for money for food but refused my food.
The Prince was also known to often roll with less than admirable company.
For example, this one guy he moved with often would always offer me these little pills to increase my member size.
Did he really know the size of my member? How? And why were we calling it ‘member’?
I guess it didn’t matter though as I heard that the Prince did find many, many strangers who helped him.
And for ever sketchy guy offering me pills, there were normal enough people I met, albeit always with their own problems and issues.
“I used think it was fun to go from Leo’s house right back to Lara’s but other than the occasional randy reply, its really quite boring.”
“How many times has that happened?”